My mother always told me I was the kid in the sandbox playing by myself, building my own castles. Whether or not the sand and water would hold wasn’t what amused me, it was the imagination I had during the building process. A half-crumbled sand lump was a tower. Falling sand with water looked like nothing at all was where a knight stood guard. I could put myself into that world and my brain would take over and let whatever it was in front of me become more. It would be all that would exist.

We’re human beings. We all want some form of interaction at some point. We all want to be heard at some point. An idea to bounce off someone else’s ideas. A thought thrown at someone to see if it clicks with others. To see if anything sticks. Whether you believe we’re apes that evolved or aliens that were left here to develop into what we are, and trust me I’ve had long discussions about those sorts of theories, we communicate to express. Whether it be love. Pain. It’s how we bridge the gap between our own energy to others.

But that being said, there is peace and a vital enjoyment of knowing full well, you do not need to be around others constantly for happiness. There are some who can’t go 12 minutes without needing to be around people, allowing a co-dependency to run wild. The need to always be in a relationship. The need to be in front of people or a crowd. Where silence bothers them. Where solitude is a dirty word. Where they must always be doing something or anything besides finding who they are. Developing who they want to become.

I state this because I’ve been in both spots. I found the essential idea of having “alone time” more meaningful than at times feeling temporary fixes to the above. To be alone without having to have people fill the voids of people missing from one’s life. Through years of writing music alone. Through years of running, training for marathons alone. Through years of writing spoken word alone. Through years of being out of relationships for a good amount of time. Leads to being able to motivate without the help of others. And this brings me to the important point….when you train, when you are in that weight room and your ears are full of your favorite music and you don’t care there is a smokin’ 10 in tight pants working out next to you or you ignore the guys gawking at you making awful comments, or you leave your phone in the locker….because nothing is more important than this time for YOU. Yourself. You’ve earned this. Through getting beat up mentally at a job, or having issues with family at home, or a husband or wife you feel that doesn’t “get” you. That time you train…that hour you lift…that hour you run, or ride your bike and don’t have to say a single word to anyone because it’s you and your body and your time to find out what you’re made of, at this solitary second.

I know you. I might not see you from across the gym. I might not be at the gym you’re at. Or the street you race down. Or the class you’re taking to dance. But I know you. I get you. You could have the worst dedication on earth in some areas but that hour you’re there and pulling and pushing yourself around through the burning inferno that is whatever took you to the weight room that day…I know you. I see you.

Find that hour and extend it to 23. Make it your day. Find yourself. Find that and use that and I swear, if you do…you might be in your sandbox by yourself, but my friend, we’ll be in ours right next to you. And you are NEVER alone.


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